Doing the right thing is a principle we can use to guide our interactions with equids and measure our achievements. It means doing the right thing for the horse, donkey or mule, no matter the challenges. If we can focus on doing the right thing for the horse, in the situations that we find ourselves, we become better people for our horses, donkeys and mules.
"Do, or do not. There is no try." Thanks, Yoda, for this piece of wisdom! I have often pondered this saying, and I think it applies to the principle of doing the right thing.
Often we might want to do the right thing, but someone, something, a situation, or an environment gets in the way, and we end up falling short of the right thing we were so desperate to do. In this case, there was no try, we did something with our horse, and it either was the right thing, or it wasn't. What we were "trying" to do was unimportant to the horse. Just doing the right thing can be the most challenging principle to live by in most equine environments.
We can't try to stop early before we overreach our animal's comfort zones; we either stop early, or we don't. Now, I know that we can make mistakes. I know that we have to forgive ourselves for learning. However, we also have to face the facts, did we stop early enough or not?
To help us do the right thing, we must prepare our principles ahead of time. How will we react when our equine is trying to learn or struggling to understand what we want? How will we respond when they get confused or don't do what we think they should? Have we chosen the right thing before our horse says, "no, I am not doing that"? What are our non-negotiables? What won't we do under any circumstance? Do you know what the right thing is for you and our horse? There are core principles of welfare that would help guide everybody to do the right thing, but the right thing will also be different for everybody.
The challenge is to do the right thing for each animal we meet. While the "rules" of ethology might say, horses always need companions. Having the wrong friends can be immensely stressful. Rather than being with the wrong friends, some horses are happier on their own, so being on their own is the right thing for that individual.
Accepting that there is no try and that we either do the right things or we don't gives us no hiding place. It can feel brutal to accept we didn't do the right thing, but we don't have to blame ourselves. We don't have to feel guilty. We don't have to berate our lack of ability or criticise where we are in our journey. We can simply accept that we fell short and then learn how to avoid the same mistake in the future and move on. When we hide behind "trying", it is easier to forgive ourselves for the error. Although it is also easier to belittle the cost of the mistake to the horse, after all, we were just "trying" to do the right thing even if we didn't. Accepting there was no try allows us to learn faster and more honesty without being hostile to ourselves.
Ultimately we may feel so much of the horse world isn't doing the right thing for horses.
With so much pressure in the equestrian world from so many different sources. With every trainer, practitioner or behaviourist having a different view of the right thing, it can be challenging to navigate our way through the maze of conflicting advice.
Encouraging people to do the right thing isn't about encouraging them to do your right thing. It isn't about being evangelical. It's not about having all the answers. For me, doing the right thing means encouraging people to find their path with their own equines without judgement and striving continuously to improve for the sake of their horses, donkeys and mules.
The first step is to plan ahead of time. We must define our principles and what the right things are for our horse so that at any moment, you can know what the right thing is.
Then we have to use our principles to measure the advice we're given or the information we read against what's the right thing for our horses and us.
Next, we must embrace letting go of the try, which conflicts with the common horsemanship theme of "rewarding the try". Yes, I know it means we should reward our horse's effort, no matter how small, but in truth, we're not really rewarding the try. If we were rewarding the try, we would reinforce everything the horse offered, whether it was desired behaviour or unwanted behaviour, because it was all a try on their part. Instead, we reward the right thing even if that right thing is tiny; even if it is so small, most people wouldn't recognise it as even the right thing. It's the right step in the right direction. If it's a moment, a split second, that is the right thing. Spotting those right things in our horses and rewarding them ensures our communication is more effective. Our learning is more precise, and we have the opportunity to listen to their feedback more objectively.
The fourth step is to ensure we don't hide behind the try and blame circumstance or situation. Regardless of what we were "trying "to do, it is beneficial to accept that we asked too much, didn't have a clear plan, didn't prepare the environment, or didn't stick to our principles. This way, we can look our mistakes square in the eye and most effectively learn from them and move on.
Doing the right thing in any situation gives us a moral compass to guide and measure our actions. So what are your right things, and how would you know if you weren't doing them?
Comments